avalar | [Voice] Arcana III

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persona 3: minato arisato

[Voice] Arcana III - so much to lose

[Minato couldn't not notice, this time. He'd thought at first that he might be wrong, but well... A few days and no contact can only mean one thing, can't it? The message comes late at night, and is brief. His voice is level and calm, but trained ears could tell it's only barely so.]

...I know not many of us were close to them, but I figured it's worth knowing: Marie, my housemate, seems to be gone. I'm pretty sure Shirogane Naoto is, too.

[He shuts it off quickly. Two of his closest friends here, vanished. He doesn't know if they went home or what. He's...never really thought about where the people who are no longer in Avalar may have gone. Home? Some other world? He can't help but be sad about it, no matter what the case may be. It hurts.]

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I-I never wanted any of this... S-Sometimes I think it'd have been better if I'd never woken up, if I'd just s-stayed apathetic to everything. A-And I hate myself for that.

[He never doubts that he made the right choices, but if he'd never had to make them...he'd have suffered so much less. But at the same time, he'd never have made any of his friends - his family. Wasn't that the whole reason he'd decided against killing Ryoji, despite the temptation? So he wouldn't lose his family again?]

It'd be the easy route, right...? Just... ignoring that everything exists so you can stay in your little bubble?

[Yeah, they have a lot more in common than what it seemed. But whereas Minato ignored the world, Adachi was just an ass to everything. He hated how he used to be...]

Nothing gets solved that way.

I-I don't regret any of my choices. I don't r-regret defeating the Arcana Shadows or not killing Ryoji-kun or sacrificing myself... J-Just that I couldn't keep my p-promise. But if I'd never r-returned to town, none of it would have happened.

[He clings to the older man. The flood gates have opened. Everything he's been holding back for as long as he can remember is spilling out and he can't hold it back anymore.]

Junpei-kun was right... E-Everything that happened, it was a-always...all my fault.

[Adachi smiled faintly. He wasn't going to say it wasn't the kids fault, or... well, anything like that really. The kid sounded like he was keeping a lot of shit bottled up.]

[He rubbed at his back again, silently telling him that it was okay to let it all out.]

[Oh, he is. He's locked up everything since he was six, after all. Just because he ignored the feelings for ten years doesn't mean they didn't weigh on him.]

I-I miss them so much. I-I was finally starting to make plans for the future, j-just little ones - and then they forgot everything. I knew I was...going to die and m-my friends could all tell I wasn't okay but none of them knew...! A-And then I didn't even...say goodbye...

[He's quiet for a good long while after that, just crying and letting everything out. Eventually his shaking slows, his tears stop, and he gets his composure back. Maybe he's strong, but no one is strong enough to hold back that much pain forever.] Sorry... I haven't done that in a long time.

Edited 2014-01-19 03:42 (UTC)

It sounded like you needed it.

[Adachi let him pull away, but he kept a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.]

I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for you. I wish I could just... be able to pull your friends here, 'cause I understand how lonely you are. But I can't.

I... I'm okay with being alone. I signed up for it - I chose this fate of my own free will. I just...never imagined it would include another world where I could make and lose new friends.

[He takes a deep breath, trying not to choke up and start crying again.] I thought it would just be the Great Seal and Erebus forever...

[...that didn't sound right; it didn't sound like Igor, and knowing Michael in his own world...]

What if that isn't what you signed up for?

What I signed up for was taking responsibility for my own actions. That's it. The actions that led to the Fall and my death are all mine.

I don't know if something I did led to my being brought here or not.

Exactly; that's what I signed up for too.

[Adachi offered him an easy smile.]

So tell you what. If we end up ever finding a way out of this place, and you have to go back to your... 'seal'. [He still didn't understand, but he didn't want to force the story out of him at this point.] I'll find a way to get to 'ya, and I'll figure out how to get you outta there.

Funny thing... Igor isn't the one who gave me the contract.

[That gets him to look up, though. Get out of the seal... God that would be nice, wouldn't it? He's accepted his fate but it' still near-constant torture.]

But... [He shakes his head briefly.] If anyone can do it, it'll be the Avatar of Hope. You'll probably have to go through Erebus to get to me. ...But if you're going to make that promise, you should probably understand everything.

Really?

[That was weird, but... well, different circumstances. He tilted his head curiously.]

You mentioned that before... what is Erebus?

Yeah... It wasn't even a resident of the Velvet Room. They had the contract though.

[Welcome to the world of Persona 3?]

Erebus... It's a powerful entity, on the level of Nyx and probably Izanami from your time. It's the embodiment of all humanity's despair, sorrow, and suffering - the little piece inside of everyone that wishes for destruction. Nyx's duty is to answer those wishes, and with Erebus bombarding her with them...

The Great Seal - me - keeps Erebus away from Nyx so the Fall won't happen. But Erebus is pretty pissed about that, so...it's constantly ripping at the seal, trying to tear me apart. And will be for eternity, because Erebus can never be completely destroyed. It will always come back.

[If Adachi will recall when they first met, Minato said he owed him his thanks for something... He also described the seal, that he's "supposed to be crucified across a giant pair of metaphysical doors". With what he's just said, Adachi knows everything that's waiting for Minato.]

Well... what we did should help! We proved to Izanami that that's not true, that people do want to live. If we could get through her thick skull... damn, we could tackle Erebus!

[Heck, even in the alternate worlds, he was confident that the kid had done the same. That was something, right?]

The weight of the seal will be lighter for what you did. I thanked you when we first met, remember?

But...Erebus is different than Izanami from what I understand. Erebus as no human side, no emotions or anything. All it wants is to destroy me and get to Nyx so she can end all life. Even if Erebus is defeated, it'll respawn, because humanity will never stop suffering.

I've got someone to protect, though. I'm willing to endure for all eternity for him.

[Because there's more than just what's in front of the seal keeping Minato there. He doesn't want to leave Ryoji alone. He'd rather stay in the seal and let Ryoji walk free than be free without him.]

I remember.

There's gotta be a way to keep the suffering of humans from reaching Erebus that doesn't involve you bein' a glorified door knocker. Even if you say you're okay with it, you're obviously not.

[Seriously, kid; that was a cry session that was well overdue.]

[There's no denying he needed that and had needed it for months. He knows better than to try.]

I want to be alive. I want that more than anything, but I have no idea what other way there could be. And...my best friend would still be behind the seal. I don't want to leave him alone, he deserves better.

You mean... that kid that showed up, Ryoji-kun?

[Hunh...]

Then I'll grab the both of you. C'mon; how hard could it be?

[He blinks, a little stunned that Adachi not only knows Ryoji, but figured out it was him that was behind the seal. Minato had wanted to leave that part of the story to Ryoji.]

...Yeah. He's Death, the Shadow that was sealed inside me in 1999. He's also Thanatos, the one who gave me the contract, and...the Appriser of the Fall.

[It's all very tangled and Minato doesn't know if it's even possible to open the doors and retrieve Ryoji without breaking the seal.]

...why is it you kids have so much crap to deal with?

[Despite his tone, Adachi offered him another smile.]

I mean it, kiddo. I'll do everything I can to save you, all right?

We kept asking ourselves the same thing.

[Ken was only eleven. No one should have to deal with that kind of crap at that age. No one.

Those last words, though... Minato looks like he may be about to cry again. He really isn't used to people caring so much for him that they'd go to those kinds of lengths.] I-I... Thanks. I... I'm counting on you.

[Adachi smiled broadly, knowing he had helped the kid, if only a little.]

Leave it to me.

[He's quiet for a while after that. For all his eyes are red and his cheeks are puffy, he looks lighter than he has since he first met Adachi. Keeping all of that pent up was tearing him apart.]

You...know, I feel a lot better now. Thanks for listening. Thanks for everything.

Anytime, kiddo.

[He reached over, mussing up his mop of blue hair.]

We heroes gotta stick together.

Right...

[Finally, there's a smile out of him.]

If there's anything you still have questions about, about my time... I can talk now. The rest of the crap that happened is easier.

[No, the story isn't over.] Though that's probably enough for one day, huh?

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wantedittobeagame - 2014-01-22 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

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